We seldom talk about death because it feels like a taboo subject.  Perhaps out of superstition, we fear that death will come sooner if we talk about it.  In reality, all of us will have to face death at some point so it is important to understand and talk about the emotions revolving around the idea of death.  We should prepare early so we can then spend the rest of your living time with our family, children, relative and friends doing quality and enjoyable activities rather than be surrounded by the prospect of anger, gloom and doom.

Click to watch AgeUK video on Let’s Talk about dying

Some of the emotions that can be expected when we discuss about death are:

Fear

Most people fear death but it is more important to understand which aspect of it that we fear most.  Are we worried about dying alone? Are we scared of possible pain or suffering? Are we upset that we will die without figuring out the meaning of life? It is useful to recognise and acknowledge these feelings so that our caregivers can help find ways to cope with it.

Anger

Anger happens more common than people expect because it is normal to feel angry and unfair that our life is ending.  However, it is important to know how to channel the anger away from your loved ones because this will only cause more sadness to those around us.  Save the energy to enjoy the companionship of those loved ones who matter us.

Guilt and Regret

When we reflect on our life, we might experience some guilt or regret.  Although we cannot change the past, this is a good time to put matters right.  We should consider asking for forgiveness from those we may have hurt and let go of the things which we cannot control.  Focus on maintaining good and meaningful relationship with our loved ones. Create lasting memories by recording or writing messages for them and giving them things to hold on to when we are no longer around.  Leave a memorable legacy and enjoy doing this.

Grief

Grief can be intense because we will gradually lose our physical strengths (thereby making us unable to work and enjoy our sports or hobbies) and losing time to spend with our family and friends. Talking about these feelings can help us process them and accept the loss easier.

Lonely & Meaningless

We often feel alone and isolated towards the end of life, even when there are people physically around us.  It is useful to talk to trained counsellors to help find peace and the meaning of life.

Click to watch Macmillan Cancer Support’s video on Let’s Talk about Death

Download TELEME mobile app to chat with a psychologist or counsellor to help you find peace within yourself.

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