Children needs lots of attention and approval as they are growing up. Unfortunately, as a parent, there is just not enough time to spend enough time with all the children as well as juggling the demands for office work, house chores and your spouse.  Some children misbehave to get attention and can lead to discipline issues at school.

Click to view SeeTherapy video on Child Lacking Attention

5 Signs your child may NOT be getting enough attention

• Yelling or tantrums
• Breaking toys
• Throwing things
• Bullying other children
• Pulling you away from what you are doing

How much attention you give to your child depends on your resources. For example, how much time or energy do you have? You need to have a balance between how much your child wants and how much you can give.  The goal is not to limit your child’s need for attention or approval because this is important for the child’s self-image and confidence when growing up.  This is part of a normal child character development.

There are 2 types of attention

• Positive Attention. When you child completes his chores or does good work, you should reward with positive attention which are actions such as giving hugs and words of encouragement or praise.  Even smiling, showing interest at and listening to what your child is doing are also positive attention. These actions reinforce the child to continue doing constructive actions
• Negative Attention.  When you child starts to throw things or fight with the sibling, most parents will stop whatever they are doing to intervene. This is negative attention.  Negative attention is NOT good as it teaches children to use destructive behaviors to get your attention by being troublesome and annoying

As such, do not take good behavior for granted. Look for the good and constructive behavior in your child and take the opportunity to say positive statements to them to reinforce their good values.  Positive attention helps your child feel secure and valued.

Some positive attention tips which you can try at home

• Ask your child about his/her day at school and take time to listen
• Do follow up with questions to keep the conversation going
• Give construction feedback and praise his/her good actions

Consult with a therapist if your child has any of these attention issues.

Early intervention has better chances of success

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